Possessives and Attributives

Q. I just received a thank-you card from a recently married couple. Their card said, “Thank you for coming to John and I’s wedding.” I know this is incorrect, but what is the proper way of saying this? Wouldn’t “John’s and my wedding” suggest two separate weddings instead of one joint wedding? But “Thank you for coming to John and my wedding” doesn’t sound correct, either. Please help. This might drive me nuts.

A. This is confusing because if a first-person pronoun weren’t part of the subject, we would write, for instance, “John and Beth’s wedding.” But you’re on the right track: we write “John’s wedding” and “my wedding,” so “John’s and my wedding” is correct. (For two separate weddings, write “weddings.”) If you leave “John” unpossessive, you’ll end up with ambiguities like “My best friend adored John and my wedding.”